Oops, your blouse is open!

So I was watching an interview on "Andrea Mitchell Reports".  She was speaking with former Susan G. Komen for the Cure VP, Karen Handel.  You may recall, there was a huge hullabaloo this past February regarding Komen's then-decision to de-fund Planned Parenthood.

Back in February, the CEO/Founder of Komen, Nancy Brinker cited a "NEW" internal rule that if an applicant or affiliate is under investigation, it would render them ineligible for funding from Komen.  According to Komen, PP was under federal investigation, turns out not really (just the focus of an anti-abortion congressman), and so it was no longer eligible for the near 700-thousand dollars it was receiving.  Funny, Penn State didn't didn't lose it's Komen funding, but we will come back to that.

Komen of course got lambasted for it's decision and quickly reversed course within 48 hours.  Handel also resigned, promising a tell-all book about what happened.  It's out and called "Planned Bullyhood:  The Truth about the Planned Parenthood funding battle with Susan G. Komen for the Cure"

Now,  Ms. Handel told Andrea Mitchell, that the reason PP's funding was pulled was because they don't do mammograms (true then, the organization has since launched a new initiative to perform them).  But I thought it was because they were "under investigation".  Nevermind, so let's say it is because they didn't do mammograms... when did Komen ONLY care about mammograms?  PP did and still does general breast health screenings and mammogram referrals which are all just as vital in early detection.  So if women's breast health is all you truly care about, which Handel also said... then PP should never have lost funding, even for just the few hours that it did.

So why was there such an uproar... well, PP performs some abortions, representing up to 3 percent, I repeat, 3 percent, of the centers function.... hardly the centers entire purpose for being.  But we all know how controversial abortions are.  Ms. Handel is a vocal anti-abortion advocate, and it just so happens that PP funding only ended when she became a deciding voice within Komen in April of 2011.  She again told Andrea Mitchell, Komen's decision to de-fund had nothing to do with her personal beliefs, that PP didn't perform mammograms, and Komen is solely about breast health.  She also said, that the issues with PP had been affecting Komen for "atleast a decade, long, long, before my time".  Well, here's the problem with that... if Komen had so many issues with PP, "at least a decade", why did it take until she got there to pull the funding.  Also from what I could find in a search for when Komen began to fund PP, that apparently didn't start until 2007, so why even start to fund, if you've got issues.  AMR-MSNBC

Well, since knowing Handel ran for Governor in Georgia, as  republican with part of her platform railing against PP, it doesn't take a math genius to put 2 and 2 together.  I mean, maybe it's a coincidence, but I'm starting to think, coincidences aren't so much these days.

Now that you're all angry and bitter about my little soundboard on this issue, let me make something absolutely clear.... Susan G. Komen for the Cure CAN ABSOLUTELY fund and de-fund which ever organizations it chooses.  It's private money, do with it whatever you will.  My issue is, don't make up stories and dance around the real reason behind your decision.  If you don't want to fund PP because you don't like that 3 percent of their centers' function involves abortions... say so, you have every right to.  But don't make up this "internal rule" that just came into play and DOESN'T apply to an actual institution that was under federal investigation for child sex abuse... Penn State, which is receiving a 5 year 7.5 million dollar grant from Komen for it's cancer research.  Don't tell me that when your board voted in a new "rule" it only affected a whopping ONE of your 2000 funded organizations.  And really don't tell me months later, that it's not the rule, but the fact that PP doesn't perform mammograms....  Last time I checked, a key component in breast health, is regular screenings, learning to regularly check your breasts and get information about what to look for, questions to ask... and oh, yes, get A REFERRAL FOR A MAMMOGRAM!

If you have a problem with an organization, have a problem with the organization.  Stand tall about why and keep your head up.  When you start spinning webs of lies, you get caught with your pants down, or in the case of Komen, your blouse open.

The Lawlessness of Stamford Drivers....

OK,
I've had it!  I don't claim to be the greatest driver on the planet, but I am far better than a vast majority of the drivers of Stamford, CT.  I live there, so I know what I am talking about!!!  Specifically, my favorite intersection.... Washington Blvd at Broad Street.

Today I am walking with my family, little dude in his stroller, husband pushing, and we get to our favorite intersection... it's my favorite because it seems all of the bad drivers of the state converge there.  We are patiently waiting for the walk signal, and sure enough, it comes.  We look both ways then step into the crosswalk and begin our trek.   Apparently we weren't moving fast enough for the driver trying to make a right, as they inched closer and closer to us.  Well, we've dealt with this enough, so finally we rebelled, slowed our roll and took our time.  Once the women and her passenger were able to go  through the light, she politely called me an Asshole, because I kept her from turning.

Well here's the rub, there is a sign posted as big as day: State Law, Must yield to pedestrians in crosswalk.  Hmmm, seems pretty straight forward to me, especially considering I had the little walking man telling us, we are clear to walk!  I don't like to make scenes.  I don't like to be that person yelling in the street, but calling me an asshole for crossing the street?!  I screamed back at her, read the street sign, yield to pedestrians!!!

So, if I am calling out Stamford drivers, obviously this isn't the first incident.  One day, I am trying to cross the street at yes, my favorite intersection, and wouldn't you know it... another driver versus pedestrian moment.  This time the driver again is mad, because I am not allowing her to make her right, but she's screaming at me because, I am not directly in the crosswalk, so I am holding her up.  Now here's the problem with this one... this particular crosswalk, on the south side of the intersection is an angled crosswalk.  So... I'm not sure why, but by the time you get to the other side, you are standing somewhat in oncoming traffic, so I usually keep a straight line which takes me about 2 feet out of the crosswalk once I reach the corner, and keeps me out of the oncoming traffic line.  But here's the rub.... she's turing on a red light.... which would be fine except for the other big bold sign just below the "Yield to pedestrian" sign that reads: NO RIGHT ON RED.  So why exactly are you cussing at me when you are making an illegal right on a red light?  I didn't say anything that day... said plenty in my head, but left it there.

Come to think of it, while I was driving through my favorite intersection once, I had someone honking at me at a ridiculous rate, because I wouldn't make the "ILLEGAL" right on red.  I wanted to stick my finger out the window, but that's not an example I need to be making for my kid.  Yelling at the driver today, I immediately felt foolish.  Here I am crossing the street and yelling at some driver half way down the road.  I've got people staring and I look at the drivers and realize how dumb I look, no matter how justified my outburst.  I apologized while crossing.

Alex says he figures he could write tickets all day long if he just stood at that intersection, the city would make a killing.  The thing is, it's not just the, yielding to pedestrians, or illegal rights on red.... there's also the, flat out driving through the red lights all together.  We figure, on average at least 2 to 3 cars usually go through that particular signal after it's turned red.  I'm stunned there aren't more accidents.   I'm stunned there's not more road rage.... It seems the lawlessness that IS Stamford driving is the norm.  Not a whole lot of honking except for those trying to actually follow the law.  Not much anger except for drivers not actually yielding to pedestrians.  Guess I should just partake in the lawlessness... but you know what happens then, I will be the one that gets the ticket.  Guess I will simply continue to hold in my frustration and secretly want to beat down the majority of the Stamford drivers I come across.

The Ingenuity of an 18 month old....

So it's 4:30 in the morning.
To say we are half a sleep, isn't even slightly accurate.... try deep, deep sleep.
But like any mom... I hear my son, crying.  I jump with cat like reflexes, then bumble and stumble down the dark hall trying to get to my toddler's room.

It feels like the never-ending hallway from Poltergeist, but I realize, #1- I'm not afraid, cuz I know nothing is really wrong, and #2- it feels like the never-ending hallway because I am just not at all awake.

I get to my son's room and there cuteness is, standing in his crib, crying and rubbing his eyes.  I know the routine, pick him up, hug him a little, give kisses, tell him, "it's ok, mommy is here, but you little man, should be asleep."  As I figured, nothing is wrong, he's just up.  No temperature, just up.  So I set him on the bed across from his crib and proceed to change his diaper.  I pick him back up, kiss him again, tell him I love him, but it's time to go back to sleep.  I put him in the crib and I haven't even let him go before he's up and whaling again.  The truly traumatized whale...  I pick him back up, and just hold him in my arms for about 30 seconds.... I think,... I really still am asleep.  I can't see the clock cuz it's just a blur.  He is calm now, so I proceed to go to the cd player and play his music (World Baby Zen, great stuff) set him down in the crib, pull the tail on the musical elephant and rub his back a bit.  He's up again and starts crying.  I know this game.  So I tell him, go back to sleep and walk out of the room.

I head back to our room, where I can finally see a clock and begin the countdown.  He's got five minutes before I go back in if he hasn't stopped on his own.  The monitor is sitting faithfully on my chest.  The whaling gets even louder, and I can tell, he's not gonna go back down.  But now I need to go to the restroom.  So I decide, bathroom first then back to munchkin.  But something really strange happens as I am finishing up in the bathroom... all of a sudden his whaling seems to be getting closer to our bedroom.  Now, I know I am tired, but I'm not that tired and I know, I'm like 99% certain, no one is in the condo to pick him up and carry him to my room.  But sure enough, as I am washing and drying my hands, the whaling is at our bedroom door and tugging on the knob.  I didn't even realize I had shut shut the door. I open the door and there he is standing there, crying.  For the first time EVER, the little man, somehow maneuvered his way out of the crib and made his way down to his dad and mom's room.

My husband finally even woke up himself, cuz he heard the crying literally at the door.  By the time he got to the door, little man was standing in the room waiting for one of us to pick him up... me still in awe.  Alex looked down and in only the way a proud father could, he said, IN GREEK, did you walk all the way here yourself?  Oh my boy, good job my boy (Now, I paraphrased, because, I still don't know greek, I am working on it, but it was more than a word or two). He swooped him up and took him to our bed.  Needless to say, little man giggled a bit.

I was proud, scared and still tired all at the same time.  I didn't hear any kind of thud or thump, so he didn't fall, but he could have.  And here is something that makes it all even more impressive....  he still sleeps with a pacifier, in fact he keeps two with him.  He had the one in his mouth and one in his hand as he got out of the crib and made his way down.  I know my kid, there was no put this down for a second while I do this, he kept the one in his hand and had the one in his mouth the whole time.  Again, there was pride, and the fear subsided for a second.... but then, I just realized.... he can now get out of his crib!  We have to figure out a new strategy for when little man randomly wakes up and doesn't want to be by himself!

Golden Gabby

America has a new sweetheart and she isn't of the typical fare!  Gabby Douglas won gold for the Individual All-Around at these 2012 London Olympic games.  In fact, she became the first African-American Gymnast to accomplish the feat PERIOD.

Now I know, there are many of you, utterly frustrated that I am pointing this out, but here's the deal, this is one of those things, that NEEDS to be pointed out.  Certain fields have far fewer variety than others, for various reasons.  Gymnastics is one of those sports where not so many african-americans are drawn too or encouraged.  I was basically told, gymnastics was not for me when I was a little girl,... by the gym.  I was sad, but after my growth spurt, it certainly made more sense.  Now I doubt they saw a growth spurt coming, but a public gymnastics facility in my opinion should never turn away a young person that wants to participate.  I may not have been any good, but this wasn't a team tryout.  This was a public gymnastics facility, where you pay to participate and anyone should be allowed to do so.

It's interesting, I can name only two African American female gymnasts.... Dominique Dawes and Gabby Douglas.  I am positive that there are more, but they haven't reached this level which is why these two stand out.  It's what makes Gabby's Individual All-Around Gold that much more important.  Specifically for little black girls, there is something to be said about seeing yourself in a hero.

Gabby, like the Williams sisters represents a dream that can be attainable, no matter what that dream is.  I am looking beyond athletic talents here, I am talking about any and all dreams.  They represent that if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.  Sound familiar?  It should, it's an age old saying... but sometimes the words seem to be simply that, empty letters with sound attached.  But there are individuals, accomplished individuals who somehow make you feel as if there is more behind those words.  Individuals who didn't come from great backgrounds, individuals who had the tables not necessarily turned in their favor.  Individuals who decided, no matter what the sacrifice, I'm going to make this happen.

Who would of thought Compton could produce the greatest sister tandem the sports world has ever seen.  And now there's Gabby..

Gabby Douglas... dubbed the "Flying Squirrel" because she gets RIDICULOUS height from her bar releases, her beautiful lines in her routines and a smile to match, is a thrill to watch.
She is a beautiful young lady and hopefully her Golden future is just as celebrated as those who went before her.  She's already got her Wheaties box, now I want to see her on the commercial/sponsorship circuit like her predecessors.
I want Gabby to be a household name, I want her to be fawned on.  I want her to get the love she deserves because she is an Olympic Champion to the highest degree.  I want her poster plastered on gymnastics walls and little girls bedrooms...   I want little girls to say.... "I want to be like Gabby".... I want all of this for her because, she's our Gabby, ALL of ours, and she is an especially bright golden star to young black girls all over the United States!

Your Rights WARRANT common sense!

Following the horrific events that took place last week in Aurora, Colorado, the debate about our right to bear arms has been up for discussion again.  Many are saying we need stricter gun laws, others say, stricter laws infringe upon our civil liberties.  I'm sure it isn't surprising to hear me agree with the need for stricter laws.

Look, I have a natural fear of guns and the argument that guns don't kill, people do... holds very little water for me.  While I would love every gun in every county, city and state removed off the streets, I know THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN.  So I subscribe to a little common sense.
Yes, you have every right to bear arms.  It is clearly stated in the constitution of the United States, but some common sense is most definitely warranted.  I am waiting for someone to explain to me how an "ASSAULT RIFLE" or a "SEMI-AUTOMATIC WEAPON"  are necessary in your "domestic protection", or hunting.

I believe it was former Pennsylvania Governor, Ed Rendell said on MSNBC last week, there is no reason any legal domestic  weapon needs to have more than 10 or 11 rounds of ammunition.  Heck, I say keep it at single digits, no more than 9 if I have to give in somewhere.  While it is unknown how many rounds were actually fired, James Holmes could have gotten off 60 rounds in one minute with his assault rifle alone.... 60 ROUNDS!   He purchased some 6000 rounds of ammunition on-line..... how is that even slightly ok?  That is absolutely ridiculous.  No person needs that kind of weaponry that isn't fighting for their lives in an ACTUAL WAR!

Then you get statements like the one from Texas Congressman (R) Louie Gohmert, who asked why the shooter was the "ONLY" one with a gun?  So let me get this straight, you want to add another gun or two or three to the mix, possibly endanger even more lives because now, bullets flying back and forth in every which direction as if we we're back in the wild west?!  How about, if he isn't able to fire off 60 rounds in a minute.  How about in the time it would have taken him to stop and reload a handgun, or shot gun, someone might have gotten to him to stop him, or, better yet, authorities, may have gained valuable moments to stop him.  But no, we have the "freedom to bear arms" as the argument allowing someone of this sick nature to assault unassuming movie goers.

I am not naive to think, the removal of guns means sick people won't find other ways to do harm.  I know who Timothy McVeigh and Ted Kaczynski are.  It wasn't about guns for them and yet they caused plenty of death and harm.  But to act like we can't help get one area of violence under more control is ludicrous.

Here's what I think, and just so we are clear, I think this should be NATION-WIDE. You should NOT be able to own assault rifles and semi-automatic weapons, period!  You should NOT be allowed to purchase 6000 rounds of ammunition on line, period!   If you want to purchase a gun, you should be subject to a background check.... I was subject to a background check at every job I was hired for, and I was reporting sports!  You should be required to pass a users exam for the gun you are purchasing.  You have to pass a driver's test to drive, in fact you have to pass separate exams for a motorcycle or carrier truck.  There should be a mandatory 30 day waiting period for all licenses to carry a weapon and another 30 day waiting period to physically own a gun... Period!  You should not be able to purchase more than one gun in a 30 period.  You shouldn't be able to purchase more than 12 guns in a calendar year!   I hate guns and I just gave you 12 in a single year!

Explain to me, how these infringe on your rights!?  They don't.  They  are reasonable, common sense protective measures that might, just might help curb the James Holmes and Jared Loughner's of the world.  It might also take a huge chunk out of the weapons of gangs, but that's a whole other day of discussion.

Do my measures solve violence in America, of course not, dumb to think so.  As I mentioned before, depraved individuals spend hours, days, weeks and months figuring out how to hurt, you can't stop them all....But this is a step in the right direction.

Is there anything more annoying?.....

Than feeling as though you are getting a good sleep on, and then your eyes pop open?  As if the darkness in the room didn't tell you already, that it was way too early, when you look at the clock you realize.... it is WAY TOO EARLY!  Hence it's 3:45 AM eastern time and I am here writing this.
I wouldn't be so frustrated about it, except, I'm tired and have been faithfully trying to get back to sleep for over an hour.  It also doesn't help, that my precious little toddler, really won't care that 'mommy didn't sleep much, she still needs to  be on point when I wake up in about 2 and half hours!'
So tell me you wayward sleepers out there.... what do you do when you know you should be asleep but you are simply.......up!?

Now see back in my single days... house cleaning would be an option.  But with a 17 month old fast asleep as well as a husband..... well, you get the idea.
I am tempted to turn on the tv... but somehow, I think that will only stimulate my brain even more.
One thing I have been doing, that is completely NOT CONSTRUCTIVE, is make a mental list of all the b.s. that's happened and continues to happen in my personal world.  I don't know, maybe that's the problem, maybe I haven't mentally purged enough.

Well, here's a mindless purge.... Text messages, are starting to really bother me.
A new friend that I have made over the past several weeks recently had nose surgery.  Wanting to allow her proper rest time, I waited a few days before reaching out to see how she was doing.  But I didn't call, nope, I sent a text message.  She replied, happy that I was checking in and so our finger banter via cell phone began.  We moved from her surgery to trying to organize some park time with our kids the next day.    Well, the discussion continued to the next morning, because I eventually went to bed and the message I sent that afternoon, didn't get a reply until later that night.... people get busy.... I'm one of them and it's easy to miss a text when you've got the day to deal with.
When I reached for my phone to reply to her text that I missed the night before, I stopped myself... I was about to begin the finger banter again and decided.... no..... I actually want to speak to this person.  I am going to call.  I did.  I got her voicemail, but she called me back pretty quick and we had a great little chat.  In fact, we laughed about the fact that we, like so many others text way too much.  Here's the thing, in the time it takes to send a text, get the reply, reply yourself and repeat.... you could have just as easily called the person and worked out whatever it was voice-to-voice and actually saved some time.

Now, don't get me wrong.  Texting serves a good purpose for me.  When I don't really have time to talk, but want someone to know I'm thinking about them... quick text.  Confirming a girls night out, place and time, quick text.  Checking to see if someone is available to actually talk on the phone, quick text.  The problem is when the text turns into a complete conversation.... that's the stuff that just grinds at me.  Add to it, when you don't want to text back and forth for the 10th time in the same discussion, you decide to call, and the person doesn't answer.... see that makes me want to throw something.  It is also the world we live in.  As advanced as a culture and people that we have become, I think socially, we are lost.  We don't know how to talk to people anymore.  It serves as a means to keep your distance.  We do it with family members, friends and acquaintances alike.  Heck, I have a friend who's son broke up with his girlfriend, VIA TEXT!!!!  Let me repeat that, he BROKE UP WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND VIA TEXT...... AND SHE WAS OK WITH IT!
When did that become ok?

My husband has eyesight issues, so texting isn't something he does at the rate of most.  He still actually calls people and I like that.  In fact, I remember a few years back, when we were planning our wedding, we were trying to pick the song we would dance our first dance to as husband and wife.  We called up his cousin to ask something random about a song and the conversation became one of the most entertaining discussions any of us had had in a long time with no alcohol involved.  We weren't saving the world, just driving down memory lane listening to bits of different songs that brought back vivid details of our life's journey.  We started with the soundtrack from "The Wedding Singer" and from there, it just grew to a phenomenal chaos.  In case you are wondering... we chose "Ebony & Ivory"... it was fitting.... :-)

 I just want to get back to real conversations.  Really developing relationships with people, you know actually talking and getting to know them.
I know, I know, I sound old.  The text isn't going away, or at least not in a sense of winding down, it will evolve into something else, I have no idea what, but something.
Until then the finger banter will continue, and I too will continue to participate.  But may I ask one favor from you today, just one itty bitty, teeny weeny, little favor.... As you go through your day today, sending multiple texts.... If you have the time, see if you can turn one text, just one text into an actual phone conversation.  You never know, it may end up being one of the best chats you have ever had.

Team USA... made in CHINA!

Oh say can you see, by the dawn's early light......
Your chest is filling with pride right now isn't it?

What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming....
We will hear these words proudly throughout the 2012 Olympic games.

Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight....
Picturing Michael Phelp's again....

O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming....
You are wondering where I am going with this aren't you?

And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air.  Gave proof through the night, that our flag was still there....
So here's the big question, while the flag stood, did it say, made in China on the label?
I ask, because the Team USA opening ceremony uniforms will.  Yep, standing tall in red, white and blue Ralph Lauren design, our most athletically talented men and women will proudly stand dashingly in outfits, outfitted in China ( check out the link to see what I am talking about USA Uni's).

Is it me, or does something seem inherently wrong with that little bit of information.  Here we are, representing the United States of America, putting our country on display in the most basic way possible and on the world stage, our uniforms can't even support AMERICAN COMMERCE?  That is down right ludicrous.  Heck, my husband was ticked off when he heard this story, to the point that he actually started a petition..... AND HE'S CANADIAN!!
I personally think, all USA gear should HAVE to be made in America.  If you want the shirt, the pants the shoes to say USA, it should be made, in the USA.  Oh, did I just stumble on to something here?  Do the opening ceremonies actually bear the letters USA or is it just implied in the classic Lauren yacht time design?

Now, I am not going to sit here and act like my closet isn't filled with apparel bearing labels of every country but the USA, including stuff that says, USA, but when it comes to an olympic uniform for the opening ceremonies, maybe, just maybe, the pride of the country should be showcased through and through, including the little flags they will be waving!

Freedom of Independence

So I've been listening to the back and forth set off by comments from comedian Chris Rock regarding the "Fourth of July" Holiday.  Yep, he set off a real firestorm when speaking of the ugly history that is a part of the fabric of our flawed yet wonderful nation.  The Fox News machine of course had a field day chiding Chris.  Saying how disrespectful his observations were, because he is a "beneficiary" of the greatness of our nation.  Herman Cain chimed in re-writing history to make his point.  I don't remember reading the section in my history book, where George Washington said the slaves were free people... but I digress.


Melissa Harris-Perry also drew the ire of  Fox because she too put a spotlight on some of the history of the nation that isn't so celebratory.
Here's the thing, these two individuals drew fire because they told the truth.  They simply spoke about the FACTS of some of the not so great history of our nation.  FACTS, that while many would love to forget them and sweep them under the rug, they cannot be forgotten and should not be forgotten.... because if you haven't learned from the mistakes of the past, you are doomed to repeat them.  WE ALL have to recognize and understand the history that is the United States of America, warts and all.
The Fourth of July is the only Holiday that celebrates our Nation as a whole and I celebrate it just like most everybody else, but I also remember, my parents weren't allowed to do what I am doing right now when they were my age.  You celebrate the good, acknowledge the ugly and try your hardest to make this nation better every single day.


That also means that while I found the criticisms directed at Rock and MHP absurd, I also have to recognize, those individuals rights to say them.  It means that when I hear Congressman Allen West, continually speak as if the history of our nation doesn't exist at all, I HAVE TO defend his right to say them.  It's a catch 22 and honestly was best described in one of my favorite movies, "The American President".  President Andrew Shephard, played by Michael Douglas finally stood up for what he believed in when he was running for re-election and this was in my mind the most poignant part of the speech:


America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country can't just be a flag; the symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then, you can stand up and sing about the "land of the free".


100% correct!  Hurts sometimes doesn't it?  Stings to the bone when you hear hateful words, when you hear people disrespecting and purposefully trying to rile up the crowd just because they can.  But it's their right to do so... our founding fathers made sure of it, and I appreciate it.  However, it doesn't absolve you or me of consequence.  You see freedom of speech means exactly that... in the words of John Mayer, "say what you wanna say", but remember your words, good or bad will draw a reaction.  You could be fired, you could be advanced, you could be jailed, you could be celebrated, you could be attacked, you could be hugged.... your freedom to speak WILL result in a reaction.  


We are all human, at least the majority of us, and therefore, we ALL have hypocritical moments.  Allen West makes me want to hit a wall pretty much whenever I hear him speak, one of his latest claiming President Obama wants us to be his slaves.   But you know what, I have to recognize his right to say what he wants to say and then respectfully say what I want to say in disagreement.  It stings, but it's a freedom Mr. West, you and I all share....

Uncomfortable with your discomfort....

So the big Olympic Trials 100 meter run-off between Jeneba Tarmoh and Alysson Felix was cancelled after Tarmoh chose to concede the third place spot to Felix monday.  Tarmoh says she wasn't really ever comfortable with USATF's decision to do the run-off in the first place, that she felt she had already earned the position fair and square.
Now I get that.  She had done her qualifying victory lap, done the media and then hours later is told actually, it was a tie and we need to figure out what to do next.  I'd be PISSED, no doubt about it.  To make matters worse, it takes the USATF a week and a day to decide ok let's do a run-off.  RIDICULOUS! USATF definitely earned an "F" for their failure to handle a situation that was not overly complicated to deal with, regardless rarity.  Tarmoh and Alysson Felix have every reason to be bitter about how this whole thing was handled.
But a decision was finally made, and it was the correct one.... A run-off that was supposed to be a prime time event.   But something else happened, Jeneba Tarmoh decided not to participate in the run-off and conceded her third place finish to Felix.   Now I am even more ticked!!!!

Young lady, you said running in the Olympics was a dream of yours, here you are on the cusp and you decide to walk away instead of letting your speed do the talking.
As a former track and field kid the Olympics were indeed the ultimate goal, but alas, I simply didn't have the talent to get me there.  I set some goals for myself in college, said if I reached them, I would continue on.  I did not and so all I can do is sit and cheer on our greatest athletes with the rest of the country.... but I digress....

There is a term that we hear regularly when it comes to the Olympic Games.... it's the "Olympic Spirit".  It describes the courage, the strength, the desire that an athlete has and displays in representing their country in one of the most pressure packed environments on earth.  This, Miss Tarmoh, is not an example of your "Olympic Spirit".

Again, I can understand feeling that you've already qualified and shouldn't have to prove it again, but honey, that is called life.  Proving yourself NEVER EVER goes away.  Your decision to just concede because you were uncomfortable with the situation tells me more about your spirit in a negative fashion than in a competitive one.  And now you've done another flip.... after agreeing to do an interview on CNN this morning (Wednesday, July 4th) on what was behind your decision, you decide right before the interview to back out.... You are presenting a trend that no one wants to get saddled with Miss Tarmoh.
If I were the head coach, I have to look at your actions and determine, is this what the heart of a champion looks like?

What if you were to have beaten Miss Felix Monday night and qualified?  If a similar situation had happened in London (Yes, I understand I am reaching here, I am just trying to make a point), would you have decided no, I qualified for the Finals and since you want me to do a run-off, I simply will give up my opportunity to run for gold, out of what..... a misguided principle?
Are you injured?  Is something going on personally that has taken precedence and needs your attention? If that is the case, no one on earth would fault you for that, but that is not what you are presenting right now and my disappointment is at an all time high.

Your discomfort to compete, gives me no comfort if you end up as an alternate for our relay team.

Bully Tested - Target Approved

So the bully's that tormented Karen Klein in Greece, NY received their punishment.  The boys got one year suspension, 50 hours of community service and have to complete courses on bully prevention, respect and responsibility.  The kids will be placed in the districts re-engagement center where they will stay on track academically but partake in far more than just the lessons of the classroom.  As a former target of bullying, I like these terms.
This center also reportedly requires strong parental involvement, so as to make sure nothing like this ever happens again, at least not on any of these individuals watches.
The reason I like the punishment is because it doesn't throw the kids away.  It gives them a chance to really learn something in all of this and HOPEFULLY, make them better because of it.  I truly hope the parents of these young people take this punishment seriously themselves and enforce it at home.  I mean talk to their kids about their day, about what they've done, about what they want to do.  They have to ask their kids "do you really understand the gravity of what you did, and why it was wrong"  If they don't, this year can very easily be lost on just getting through and completing the penalty.  If the parents don't believe in it, the kids certainly won't.
But these parents seem committed.  They waived a district hearing and agreed to the penalty handed down.  I plan to take that as a positive sign and wish them all luck in the upcoming journey.
This no doubt will be a humbling road for these young people, some may even say somewhat embarrassing.... I say it will only be embarrassing if they come out on the other side UNCHANGED.
Young Men, this is your moment, grab hold and own it.  If you truly care and are sorry for your actions, your story is one that you will be able to use as a teaching tool the rest of your life and instead of being embarrassed, you will be proud to know that the mistakes you made, may very well have prevented someone else from going down that same road!

Dana, I am proud of you!

As I was sitting and reading through the Huffington Post, my eyes were pulled to the photo and caption of a friend and former colleague... Dana Jacobson.  The story was about her personal experience of having been molested as a child by by her baby-sitter (see her blog: Dana's Take).  I was stunned, I was saddened, I was lost for words.... but most of all, I was proud.   I was proud that this phenomenal woman was putting herself out there.  The topic of child sexual abuse is never an easy one to deal with, but if you don't have a personal connection to it, you are able to keep a distance.  You have empathy, but you maintain a certain distance.  I had no connection with such atrocities until now, until Dana.

I didn't know Dana then, I cannot change what happened to her, but I feel a hole in my heart all the same.... I want to know why it happened, I want to know what gave that sick person the right, the audacity to take away the innocence of kid in that manner.  All I can do now, is look at my beautiful baby boy and promise to do all I can to keep him safe.  Dana said it best "strangers are supposed to be the one's we fear, not people we know".  It's PAST TIME to change the narrative for our kids, for my kid....

Sadly, this is not new news, the question is what are we going to do about it?  How do we protect our kids?  How do we let our kids know, that just because someone is beloved, popular, well-known, a person in position of power, doesn't give them a pass to hurt?  Better yet, how do we get in front of this madness and keep these people away from our kids in the first place?  I don't want my child to have to tell me about an incident, I want that incident to NEVER HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Dana, you have helped more people than you will ever know.  Perhaps one more pair of eyes will pay closer attention to individuals than before and perhaps one less child will suffer what you and thousands of other innocents should never have ever had to encounter in the first place.